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My 11 year old son has Asperger’s syndrome. An author, an editor, a paleontologist, and the President of the United States of America are just a few goals on his growing list of aspirations. He desires to be famous and was thrilled when he was asked to give a presentation to a SEPTA (Special Education PTA) during one of their monthly meetings. This seemed like a wonderful opportunity so we jumped at the chance, but as time went by; his growing delight became synonymous with my growing fear.

After consenting to the event, I promptly put the whole thing out of my mind. It was weeks away and I had other things to do. But one morning it became blindingly obvious that my son hadn't forgotten about his upcoming speech the way I had.

“Will there be thousands of people there?” He asked.

“Thousands of people where?”

“At my speech” he said

“What speech?”

“The speech where I'll become more famous.” And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. The speech. Oh no...the speech. What date was that again?

“There won't be thousands” I replied slowly. I had to set his expectations correctly without crushing his spirit.

“How many people will be there?”

“A few dozen”

“How many is that?”

“About thirty to forty.”

“Oh.” He looks crestfallen and I find myself fervently praying that more than five people will show up.

As soon as he leaves for school, I race to my calendar to find out when the speech is taking place. Phew! We still have two weeks. That's ample time to help him prepare.

When he arrives home, I broach the subject.

“Have you started thinking about your speech?”

“Yes, I'll say that homework is cruel and totalitarian punishment, which can only be compared to...”

“And I'll also say that cyber bullying should be banned. People might commit suicide such as...”

He's enthralled with his lines. Stimming with enthusiasm as he continues his rant, I am so horror struck I can do nothing but look at him and blink.

“I'll also tell them the President's views on abortion...” That snaps my composure right back into place.

“That's not a good idea!” I exclaim. “You could offend people and that's not an appropriate topic to discuss at your speech.”

“Yes, it is!” he insists. As he rattles off all the lines, it’s apparent that he's been prepared for weeks, and changing his mind is not going to be easy.

My son might have his challenges, but one thing he has in his favor is his thirst for information. He spends all his time on Wikipedia, World Book and the like, expanding his general knowledge. While I've always found the news extremely boring and depressing, my son thrives on keeping up to date, and any efforts to block inappropriate news content, falls to the wayside as he figures out another back door of keeping current with world news and historical events.

“You know” I begin, “People want to hear what it's like to have Asperger’s.”

He looks at me blankly. Temple Grandin might be able to compare her perspective to others but my son is 11 years old. He doesn't quite get that others don't peseverate over topics of interest the way he does. He's aware that he stims but it certainly doesn't stop him. He's not aware how literal he is. Nor has he considered that his conversational skills might be right off the mark. I mean, isn't everyone fascinated in the entire history of the Presidents of the United States?

He decides to ignore my comment, and I watch in dismay as he walks off, laughing hysterically to himself about the latest “Annoying Orange” video on YouTube.

With a strong cup of coffee in hand I weigh my options.

1.  Cancel the speech

2.  Prepare his speech and make him memorize it

3.  Guide him but allow him to be himself

With all my might, I resist the temptation of option number two. It would be so easy to prepare a speech. I know what he'd say and my worry would be halved. But morally, my conscience won't allow me to pick this option. People are coming to see what Asperger’s looks like in an 11 year old boy. By creating his speech, I'd be totally misleading them. That's simply not fair.

Asperger's makes my son unique. Sometimes it's impressive and sometimes it's just the opposite. And I never know which way it's going to swing. At times when people look upon him in disdain, I never concur. I love my son just the way he is! He makes me shine with pride! Right, it's decided. I'm going to offer advice on topics and the rest is up to him.

The speech is just a few days away and the knot in my stomach is growing steadily. I've learned something new about my son. He's not big on taking advice! He'll be accepting questions after his speech and the thought sends shivers of fear up my spine. My other son will be presenting as well. He is 10 years old and will be talking about what it's like having a brother with Asperger’s. I have not interfered with his speech either.  In a nutshell, our speeches might not be polished but they'll certainly be real!

If you'd like to come on by to watch this event, the details are: MARCH 16th, 2011....

UPDATE

The speech is over!  My anxiety level reached a peak just before my son began speaking.  I silently prayed one last time for an uneventful speech with no innappropriate content.  If you want to watch it, scroll back up and press play.